The week in higher education – 22 December 2022

When newspaper barons of yore wanted to kill an unwelcome story, it was a simple matter of picking up the phone. For Elon Musk, overlord of Twitter, snuffing out unwelcome information is a regrettably public affair. His latest updates to the cyber-agora-cum-conversational-cesspit are designed to protect the safety of its users, particularly those who frequently make use of private jets. The billionaire has threatened to sue University of Central Florida student Jack Sweeney over his @ElonJet bot account, which automatically posts public flight data showing the location of his aircraft. Mr Musk claims that by sharing the flight data Mr Sweeney is “doxxing” him – internet slang for sharing real-world information on a person with malicious intent. The account has been suspended, a trifle for Mr Musk. Silencing the rest of the internet will be harder. What happened to those simple times when a media mogul could make nasty things go away?

Confidently locating the clitoris has become something of a shibboleth, distinguishing those who identify, if only to themselves, as selfless lovers. In the Christian tradition, serpents symbolise the chaotic evil of the underworld and its ability to corrupt weak female hearts. Perhaps it should therefore be no surprise to learn that no fewer than nine species of snake enjoy ownership of a clitoris. In Australia, where deadly snakes are treated with casual contempt, the finding was taken as an opportunity for levity. The country’s national broadcaster ABC cheered the reptile’s inclusion in the “clitoris club”. In what has been framed as a victory for both feminism and anthropomorphism, the discovery confirms female snake genitalia are “more than an empty cavity that’s to receive sperm”, according to Flinders University evolutionary biologist Mike Lee. Finally finding the clitoris may help discriminate snake species and invites the possibility for seduction, the scientists said.

England’s south coast has long been a haven for hedonism and relaxation. In recent years, that open-mindedness has helped nurture a political culture so achingly progressive it occasionally stumbles into self-parody. So it is that the University of Brighton reportedly encouraged staff to refer to the Christmas break as “the winter closure period”, to spare the sensibilities of non-Christians. A university spokesman told The Times the winter festival was emphatically not “banned”, gesturing to “the decorations and Christmas trees in our buildings and across our campuses” and insisting that staff and students had access to a campus Christmas dinner of “turkey and all the trimmings”. Cue the usual conservative bores banging on about free speech and open debate, as if staff had been forced to denounce the divinity of a certain young man from Nazareth. So it is that Brighton has continued a noble tradition, offering a welcome diversion for England’s wayward sons.

After making possible the UK’s departure from the European Union, David Cameron famously retired to a shepherd’s hut to pen his memoirs. The hut, which reportedly cost £25,000, has more than paid for itself, with his book For the Record becoming a number one Sunday Times bestseller. Perhaps buoyed by his literary success, Mr Cameron has decided on a foray into academia, the Financial Times tells us. Never one to play it safe, daring “Dave” Cameron has decided to dip his toe into teaching politics at New York University Abu Dhabi. As he once wagered on his ability to convince the British public not to vote for Brexit, the Eton-educated former prime minister is now betting the United Arab Emirates will prove a safe and hospitable base for him to hone his lecturing skills. Best of luck to him.

The tyranny of student satisfaction weighs heavy on many an institution. How best to challenge young minds without upsetting tender hearts? Many a curriculum has been redrafted or torn up in an effort to increase its mass appeal. The truth is that learning is hard, and that even with the most talented of interlocutors, imbibing the wisdom of ancient texts or awfully written textbooks can sap the joy from bright young things. No doubt with such considerations in mind, Cardiff University’s student union has installed the UK’s first vending machine selling the popular alcopop VK. There has been some hand-wringing in recent years that the latest crop of teenagers to grow up online has become too risk-averse. Such fears may be eased by appreciative coverage of the novel offering by student news site The Tab, which quoted one TikTok user who promised to “smash into that shoulder first”.