Christmas songs are all well and good, but have you ever wished that they had more of a higher education theme?
No? Well, the National Union of Students clearly did. They have taken some festive classics and added a university twist. We’ve selected three soon-to-be classics below.
Last Christmas
(Based on the Wham! classic)
Chorus
Last Christmas, you picked the loanbook apart
The very next day, you took DSA
This year, just like I had feared
You’ve made me a bigger debtor.
Verse
You’ve written a goodbye
To student funding
On which we so rely
Tell me, David
Why do you privatise me?
Is it so your friends can take over HE?
Merry Christmas, I’ve packed up school I’ve left it
With a note from SLC saying lifelong debt
Don’t you know what a tool you’ve been
Because you’ve cut my course
I won’t see uni again
Chorus
Last Christmas, you picked the loanbook apart
The very next day, you took DSA
This year, just like I had feared
You’ve made me a bigger debtor.
I’m Dreaming of a White Paper
(Not sung by Bing Crosby)
I’m dreaming of a White Paper
Just like the one from long ago
When the fees were tripled,
Students belittled,
Now here’s, a Green one from Jo Jo
I’m dreaming of a White Paper
That’s why I’ve nightmares, you can trust
Where it pays to treat teachers unjust
And make your universities go bust
All I Want for Christmas
(based on the Mariah Carey hit)
I don’t want a lot for Christmas,
There is just one thing I crave,
A public funded education cradle to the grave
I don’t want a framework to
Raise my fees and leave me screwed
What else can I do?
Public education is through – Green Paper
I don’t want a lot for Christmas,
But there’s one thing you should not test
And that’s DLHE data telling unis who has learnt the best
You can’t judge our excellence
By wages –
that’s not evidence
What are you trying to do?
Public education is through – Green Paper
More Christmas songs from the NUS are available, with accompanying chords (so you can play them at home), at NUS Christmas Green Paper Carol Service.
You can also follow the #HEcarols hashtag on Twitter, which THE started in 2010. Some great (and not so great) puns to be enjoyed!
