Battling Granny takes the honours

Our university made the local and national papers last week with the news that it had awarded a joint BA Honours degree in Psychology and Medieval Studies to 137-year-old Winifred Armitage.

Winifred, who is old enough to remember the last days of the Franco-Prussian War, attributes her success to "the brilliant teaching and support" she has received from all the tutors and staff at Poppleton University. "You're never too old to begin learning," she told a specially convened press conference in the new Administration Block.

Suggestions that Ms Armitage might be rather younger than was claimed were dismissed as "ageist" by Jamie Targett, our thrusting Director of Corporate Affairs. "Ageism should have no place in the modern university," he told our reporter, Keith Ponting (30).

Blended is splendid

Professor Gordon Lapping, the Head of our Department of Media and Cultural Studies, has responded enthusiastically to a new report by Celia Whitchurch of the Institute of Education that describes a new brand of manager called the "blended professional".

According to Dr Whitchurch, blended professionals have an ability to work in the "ambiguous space" between professional and academic domains, "belonging and not belonging to both".

Professor Lapping said that he had been working in just such an ambiguous space for several years. "One day I'm giving lectures on the national decline in social mobility, and the next I'm busy sacking half a dozen part-time tutors. You can't get much more blended than that."

Estates and Maintenance told The Poppletonian that there were no current plans to create any more ambiguous spaces on campus.

Special Announcement

Major International Conference
4-5 October 2008
At Poppleton University
Title: to be decided

Keynote speakers:
Two moderately well-known UK vice-chancellors.
A woman who has done something unusual at her university.
A man from a reasonably respectable commercial company.
Chair: A former presenter of a regional TV news programme.

Who is this conference for?
Academics, non-academics and all other interested parties.

£475 per person (includes tea and biscuits on both days).

Deadline for bookings now extended to the day before the conference starts.

Thought for the Week

(contributed by Jennifer Doubleday, Head of Personal Development)
Here's a little thought that has helped me through some difficult times. I hope it does the same for you.

Remove those "I want you to like me" stickers from your forehead and instead place them where they truly will do the most good. On your mirror.