Will Macdonald, A producer with the independent production company Ginger Television and Chris Evans's stooge on the Channel Four programme TFI Friday, presented a new student quiz, Carry on Campus, on BBC2 this week.
"We've just finished recording Carry on Campus at Reading University. There are three parts to the quiz: to find out academically what they know about their subject; to find out what student life is all about; and what they know about real life. So far we've found students don't really know anything.
In one round they're offered degree standard academic questions for two points, or GCSE standard for one point. For two days running every single one of them went for GCSE standard, and only four out of six got them right. That was pretty tragic. After being given the answers, one classic quote included: "Oh yeah, I did that last week." They'd already forgotten that Christopher Marlowe had been stabbed to death.
We secretly went into student halls. In one kitchen we found a sink full of putrid water. We had a sample analysed by the biochemistry department. They phoned us straight back, because they found 680 units of the deadly bacteria E.coli in the kitchen sink.
As far as real life goes, students were completely lost. They got no points at all. One of them had no idea what a live wire in an electric plug was and they didn't know what way the Queen faced on a stamp. I asked them at one point what PAYE stood for and someone said: "I haven't a clue, I don't need tax and I never will." People who didn't go to university would be horrified to find out what most students are like.
Students come across as supposedly highly intelligent people at these plush seats of learning and in fact they know nothing about anything. I think that's quite a good generalistic view of students.
You do get very bright, hard-working students, but as a majority they are pretty shocking and shabby. I'd have to say the same was true of me. For my first term I didn't know where the departmental library was. In one eight-week term I did three hours' work - ie three tutorials. Unfortunately, I got found out, and almost got sent down. But given my time again I would be a student again. There's a huge amount of enjoyment to be had being that for three years and postponing your life."